In With The New York Islanders

Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve heard of the saying “Out with the Old, In with the New", and here on the island it couldn’t be more true. Out with the old, and first to go was the entire management team involved with this soon to be dumpster fire. Yes this includes President of Hockey Ops and hall of famer Lou Lamoriello. Though he will be greatly missed, players (Muzzin, Ellis and Maroon guaranteed) are growing out those facial furs as we speak.

That left a large vacancy in the General Manager position, and though many names were thrown around in the rumor mill, it seems the ownership has made its decision. Unfortunately we aren’t able to have a proper introduction at this time, as the new GM is residing in Canada, and is currently having issues crossing the border. I know what you’re thinking, not another Covid-19 procedure holding us back. Well folks good news, this has nothing to do with Covid-19. Not this time, not this GM. The newly appointed GM had too much marijuana on his person, and is currently smoking it as fast as he can so he can,… wait, what was he doing? Oh yes, so he can be here for the start of the draft, scheduled for Friday, July 16th, And for those wondering, yes that’s on a Friday.

More good news, that won’t stop this GM from making deals. No not drug deals, but hockey deals. Deals necessary to begin rebuilding the organization. With only a 1st round pick in the upcoming draft, and a roster of aging UFAs, it was inevitable that this roster was going to be dismantled. Out with the old, and we say goodbye to former New York Islanders: Jordan Staal, Alec Martinez, Bryan Rust, Cam Atkinson, Scott Laughton, Garnet Hathaway and Matiss Kivlenieks. We can’t thank you enough for the commitment you’ve made to the team and the community over the years, and wish you the best in your future.

So with a large portion of the roster being shipped out, who will we see wearing the iconic blue and orange this season? Well Islander fans, in with the new, and with that said, we welcome the new New York Islanders: Tristan Jarry, Ryan Johansen, Jordan Eberle, Jaden Schwartz, Max Domi and Nate Thompson. Along with bringing in young talent in Tyler Parsons, Hunter Jones, and Axel Andersson, the new GM has also acquired a handful of draft picks, including a first rounder in the 2022 draft.

Now we can’t say what the future holds for your beloved New York Islanders, but one things for certain, this GM isn’t afraid to shake things up. If need be, he might even throw the roster in a coffee grinder, and eventually light it on fire.  Because hey, if there’s going to be a dumpster fire, it might as well get you high. Fuck it, we’re on an island anyways.

Welcome to the 2021-2022 season Isles fans!!!

Get those chants ready for home games. And don’t worry about the GM. It’s not “Passed His Bedtime!!”, he’s just having a weed nap.