DEAD line DUCKS

The Anaheim Ducks have been a consistent competitive organization since the genius GM VideoJ took over. As a perennial contender and a President’s Trophy winner this passed season, GM VideoJ decided to strengthen his team for a playoff run. This didn’t come without a price. The Anaheim Ducks said goodbye to their highly touted “goalie of the future” Spencer Knight, whom they had lost faith in, and Kevin Labanc, who’s contract would be an albatross next season, to bring in all-star goalie Tristan Jarry! Tristan Jarry comes onto a team with the strongest defensive core in the league playing in front of him. Tristan Jarry said this in a presser earlier this week:

“It was fun playing in New York and the short stint in Vegas. Well, I should say fun AFTER playing. The night life was where the excitement was at. Touring the New York sights and bringing streetwalkers back to my hotels made some memories that will last a lifetime. And Vegas, well, what happens in Vegas… can be found on my Instagram account. I thank these great cities, however I can’t really thank the useless GMs that had run-down, overpaid, and over the hill defensive corps playing in front of me. GM Pacman especially can go take a long walk off a short dock.”

                Along with Jarry brought a 1st round pick in the 2023 draft. As we are stockpiled at this point with many promising prospects, our organization found it would be more beneficial to focus on a couple of years from now, as opposed to the immediate future.

                Following the Jarry trade, GM VideoJ found that starting goaltender Darcy Kuemper was expendable. With an expiring contract, and no sign of bringing back in the aging goaltender, the Anaheim Ducks preferred to save some money on his remaining contract, and bring in some future assets. Anaheim acquired former 3rd round pick, promising young goalie Erik Portillo and a 5th round pick. Erik Portillo had this to say:

                “It is so exciting to come to a competent, juggernaut of an organization. Leaving San Jose will be sad for me. I really enjoyed the weather. The mismanagement of the team, and the maltreatment of the players was something I could not respect. GM BRRR seemed to just not care about his players’ happiness. Sometimes I wonder if he is actually GM RBK in disguise. Well, not really, GM RBK will actually be able to be bounced in the first round this year, as opposed to the Sharks. Anyway, the opportunity to come to the Anaheim organization is wonderful. I am hoping to finish out a couple of years in the college system before signing my entry level contract and start my career with the San Diego Gulls. I am also excited about GM VideoJ bringing in Tristan Jarry. He is one of my favourite goalies in the NHL and I cannot wait to work with him!”

                With these moves, the Anaheim Ducks look to be an even more competent competitor, not only this year for the cup, but for years to come. There aren’t many teams that can handle the defensive structure that the Ducks play. With divisional rivals like the Edmonton Oilers being run by fools like GM Oilcountry who is entering senior citizen status, and GM Arcele absent like a deadbeat father, the present AND future looks bright for the Ducks. Oh and something mean to GM Blix as well.