There's a new Shark in town

Without any fanfare, a new chief took over the San Jose Sharks on October 12th 2021.

Longtime coach Lindy Ruff wasn’t doing a bad job. He commanded respect from everyone in the locker room, had respected tactics and methods. In fact, there was no real reason to relieve the mustached man of his duties, but general manager BRRR still went ahead and pulled the trigger, because… that’s how it’s done in San Jose.

This move is just one of many in the controversial rebuild initiated by BRRR when he took over two years ago now. Some say it’s “Moneyball” meets “Slapshot”. The Sharks mastermind prefers to call it “no grit, no glory” plan.

“Ever swam in the Pacific ocean buddy? Ever came face to face with an hungry shark ? Those motherf***ers are heartless, tireless, they don’t care about morals, they don’t try to deke or play fancy, they just want to rip your head off”

Fair to say the team is shying away from the “Baby Shark”-kind-of vibe.

Echoes of the interview process for the coaching gig included references to Fight Club, piss-in-the-snow-contests and whisky-induced experiments. Word is at some point the job was offered to Anaheim’s general manager VideoJ but we’ll never know for sure.

The new head coach is one of the boys. To anyone questioning that, he will gladly expose a homemade shark tattoo on his buttock he carries around since the early 90s. Rob Zettler is a proud member of the first-ever San Jose Sharks 1991-92 roster. He compiled only 1 goal and 18 assists in his 196 games played with the team, but most importantly 314 penalty minutes. That places him in the company of legendary Jody Shelley, Marty McSorley, Link Gaetz, Doug Zmolek, Dody Wood, Bryan Marchment and Jeff Odgers only to name a few on the all-time team PIM leaders list. The Sept-Iles, Quebec native played his junior in the OHL with the Soo Greyhounds, so it only made sense he spent time both as a player and assistant coach with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Another highlight of his resume has to be his swagger on his 1992-93 Topps Stadium Club hockey card, where he makes rappers and gang members alike look like ballerinas.

The Sharks under new coach Z has been doing… ok so far. Lots of good teams are struggling out of the gate in this new RHL season, with the presumed Stanley Cup winners Flames dead last in the Pacific and AHL players packed teams performing well-above expectations all around the league.

Expect the Sharks to start liquidating some salaries in the coming weeks if things don’t take a sharp turn. Fans in the Bay always are content to have an ever-rebuilding team to call theirs. That’s the So-Cal vibe, we’re just fine with our bunch of grinders, ripping heads off every now and then like Rob Zettler and the others used to back in the days.

And no matter the results, coach Z is there to stay. He’s your meat and potatoes kind of coach, with lots of grit, a big heart and a Shark tattooed on his ass. What else can you really ask for.