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Where in the world was VideoJ these past few months?

2024-01-25

Hailing from 3-4 hours outside of Montreal by car, VideoJ has a long history of abandoning any home responsibilities to instead get lit on the weekends at bars in countries you've probably never heard of before. Recently however VideoJ was not posting any of his travels while also being completely absent from the sim league. The question is, where was VideoJ? 

After asking around the league for his whereabouts, a couple of theories had emerged. I went and investigated each of these locations before asking the GM himself upon his return. Here are the results of my investigations:

Epstein Island: This was the most suggested spot for VideoJ's location was Epstein Island without a doubt. There was even some testimony to back up this claim as pictured in the headline of this article. And sure enough I was able to find evidence of VideoJ activity on the island, the DNA testing was conclusive. However, the GM had eluded my grasp - after hacking a computer I was able to find a plane ticket to Yemen with a layover in Syria and conversations with someone who was under the pseudonym of XXXwesternhemispherehater42069XXX. Indeed I was able to get video surveillance tapes that showed VideoJ boarding the flight, armed with an RPG and a bottle of whiskey (his last gasps before going to a country where alcohol is forbidden). 

epstein island from www.cbsnews.com

I skipped Syria, I knew what I would find there... a deserted camp with plans on moving people to Yemen and a Houthi camp... I sojourned on to Yemen and took a dune buggy through the desert to get to the main Houthi camp where I started interrogating individuals on if they had seen VideoJ. Unfortunately my peaceful methods did not have much of an impact and I had to be more... convincing. They quickly told me to go to North Korea since he had a best friend there who would put him as a starting winger on the North Korean hockey team.

In North Korea I finally caught up to VideoJ. In a post-game interview with VideoJ on his way to deportation for losing the game 69-1 to Kim Jong Un, disrespecting the leader by scoring a goal against his team, he denied any wrongdoing. I then boarded the plane with him and we joined the mile-high club before landing in Montreal after a layover in Beijing. During this lengthy travel I was able to get him to reveal a bit more about his travels and he indicated he was not actually a part of any of these groups but instead just really admired all of them and wanted to get some autographs. Disgusted I finally asked him about the airlines he took to get to all of these remote spots. He insisted he drove. Unbelievable. Regardless, I was able to get him back to Canada where he now resides at Arkham Asylum quietly submitting lines in the RHL waiting for his next moment to be free and once again circumnavigate the globe.