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Accountants do better in the R-H-L

2023-06-23

Ever since the 2021 RHL money reset, San Jose Sharks GM BRRR has made a mission of counting every penny and has now made it’s way to the top of the league treasury-wise with a respectable 33,261,592$ to play with.

Breaking down the financial statements, we can see a very strict budget control which enabled the Sharks to end in the green for both years even though participating in just 2 playoffs home games during that time. 

One notable and unexpected cash influx was a trade concluded in July 21’ with GM Oily, now infamous for trading while intoxicated, that saw David Perron being traded away for Tyson Foerster, Evgeni Dadonov and 3.125m $ cash.

On the end of less-wise money moves, Frank Vatrano was handed during that same offseason a 2,092,579$ cheque as a signing-bonus in an RFA Offer-sheet before finally being traded out of San Jose just a few months later for an underwhelming haul of : Prospect: Nathan Legare, Year 12 - TBL - Round 5 and Year 12 - TBL - Round 6.

Other notable dumb uses of money from BRRR include sending VideoJ a million cash for underwhelming goalie Alexei Melnichuck and underwhelming human Jake Virtanen. Hard also not to notice that 7$ sent out to Lord Stanley to grab Mitchell Miller just in case. Turns out a bag of popcorn would have been a better long-term investment and everybody always knew so. 

When and to what use will that bunch of money be put to use is a question no one has the answer to. Every now and then, GM BRRR is tempted to go on a spending spree. We noticed his recent 4m $ bid for a 3rd round pick that was beaten at the bell by a mere 50k by fellow Las Vegas GM. 

With the TV Bonus expected to rise this year again, along with a precious break from having to hand out signing bonuses to underwhelming rookies, this might be the year GM BRRR actually pulls out his wallet. With money retention coming in play this year too, along with the ability to bring down AAV of your own players by throwing piles of cash at them, there will be no lack of opportunities to spend those hardly-earned dollars. 

Will it be overspending on older UFA add-ons ? Overspending to land “exciting” undrafted ELCs ? Or should GM BRRR wait-out another year of just watching more fellow GMs spend recklessly and go bankrupt in a matter of months ?

In the end, in the RHL, accountants do it better. So here is your trophy GM BRRR. Stellar financial statements. Hang it in the Louvres.

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