Why I hate you, yes YOU! South African Repeating Experiences Edition

Back from the Anaheim Scouting trip to South Africa, GM VideoJ found very little talent. There were some promising agile zebras that seemed to be appropriate late round picks, however apparently they are not allowed to play in the RHL due to Winnipeg Jets players confusing them with the referees in the past. So angry about his wasted talent scouting trip, VideoJ has travelled to New Zealand to scout instead. He leaves you with his memories of the 5 horrible repeating experiences he had to deal with.

5. While hiking all over the country, there are signs that are very adamant about not going off the path. That you are not to hike outside of the marked trails. Well, what would be very useful is if these “marked trails” had some sort of markings. Most hikes are across rocks, sand, and dirt over mountains with bushes and trees. There are no clear steps, no noticeable walkways, and most of them are overgrown. Needless to say for every kilometre of hiking, add on an additional 200 metres for zigzagging. Luckily I always got to my destination, except one time. And we won’t discuss that!

4. Why the F*** is there no self-service option at gas stations!? You have to tip gas station attendants to grab a hose and stick it in the gas tank! I have been sticking hoses in holes since I was 9 year old helping my dad fill his tank. Now admittedly, most of the time they also wipe the windows for you as well. But it is fairly useless in the middle of the African Savannah where I am driving on dirt roads, mud and water.

3. Dealing with cashiers at grocery stores is horrible. First of all, the counters have no conveyer belts, which is fine. I can push my items closer. However, they barely have a counter. You can barely fit more than 12 items at the checkout. This seems like a very small gripe to have, but when you are buying $150 in groceries, it is annoying to constantly add from the cart as they scan items. And then they look at you like you’re an idiot for taking so long. This is also a problem when you are buying just a few things and trying to carry more than you can and when you finally get to the register, there’s nowhere to put your items, so you’re stuck standing there, juggling your items in a queue of eight people. A chocolate bar was a casualty of this madness. In addition, why won’t stores break bills? Half of the time their card machines don’t work or are very slow. The ATMs give out 200 Rand bills. If I am purchasing something small, I’d like to break a bill so I have change to tip those damn gas station attendants. When I pull out a 200, they look at me like I’m asking them to split an atom. For those of you that don’t know, the rand is roughly 1/13th of a Canadian dollar. Which means the 200 Rand bills is less than a $20. You can’t even get smaller bills from an ATM in Canada.

2. Load shedding. The electricity goes out for 2-3 hours, 2-3 times per day. This varies region to region, or even within the same city, having different zones. If that weren't enough, the times suddenly change. You have to research when you won't have power, which means no internet, no lights, no cooking, and sometimes no water. Nuff Said.

1. You start to hate Impala when you are on safari. They are great to see on these game drives. They sometimes tussle with their horns, they roll in packs of 50 or so, and they aren’t too afraid of you, so are close up. However, after the thousandth impala, you start to get pissed when you think you see something in a bush, and it’s that same damn impala. Since both lions, several species of rarer antelope and impala are tan in colour, there are many times you think you may see a lion and get excited, only for it to turn out to be another stupid impala. Lucky me, my six hundredth impala picture.