Why I hate You. Player Edition

Below is a list of my most hated player on each team:

Anaheim Ducks- I hate Kevin Shattenkirk because his name sounds like he shit in a guy.

Arizona Coyotes- Anton Stralman. This guy still plays? Shows how good Arizona’s defence is (fart noise)

Boston Bruins- Jake Debrusk- Mostly because I traded him away in the RHL (To some jerk). Also because he was a first round pick that goes up and down more than space mountain.

Buffalo Sabres- Jeff Skinner- Speaking of up and down, probably the most polarizing back-to-back-to-back-to-back seasons ever.

Calgary Flames- I have two. Johnny Gaudreau- Because they call him Johnny Hockey and I believe that title should be given to someone who isn’t an asshole. Elias Lindholm, again mostly because I traded him away to that same jerk.

Carolina Hurricanes- Obviously Tony D’Angelo, just like everyone else in the world.

Chicago Blackhawks-Alex Debrincat because Boston drafted stupid Trent Frederic instead of him.

Colorado Avalanche- Nazem Kadri. He played for the Toronto Maple Leafs, and he’s an idiot.

Columbus Blue Jackets- Boone Jenner because Boone shouldn’t be a first name unless you’re in a Flinstones cartoon. It is a last name, ala Remember The Titans.

Dallas Stars- I’m torn between two again. Tyler Seguin’s trade still haunts the Bruins. However Michael Raffl should have another vowel in his last name.

Detroit Red Wings- Filip Zadina. I wasted a draft pick on him in Fantasy Hockey and he did next to nothing this season!

Edmonton Oilers- Zack Kassian. Being from Windsor, I have heard stories of this douchebag. For instance him punching some guy out at a bar, and then buying him a truck so he wouldn’t press charges. Makes you think about all the other crap that goes on that we don’t hear about.

Florida Panthers- Ben Chiarot because he played for Montreal.

L.A. Kings- Dustin Brown. He looks almost exactly like my ex-best friend and drummer who got into drugs and lost motivation and ruined my chances at becoming the rockstar I’m supposed to be.

Minnesota Wild- Matthew Dumba. I blame Roberto for this. He doesn’t shut up about him.

Montreal Canadiens- Everyone, because they play for Montreal. Nuff Said

Nashville Predators- Matt Duchene. I think you’re nothing. Nothing but a waste of god given talent, you don’t listen to nobody man!

New Jersey Devil- That soulless fire crotch Dougie Hamilton. Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine to get your way. Wonder what team you’ll be on next year you giant baby.

New York Islanders- Oliver Wahlstrom. I drafted him in Fantasy as well and he did shit all. However, I like that Blix drafted him 3rd overall, so I was forced to take Brady Tkachuk. Thanks Blix!

New York Rangers- Frank Vatrano. Another loser that left the Bruins. Idiot.

Ottawa Senators- Alex Formenton because stupid Tony never traded him to me and then left the RHL!

Philadelphia Flyers- Kevin Hayes. He is Jimmy Hayes’s brother, my most hated Bruins player ever. Guilty by association.

Pittsburgh Penguins- Sidney F****** Crosby.

San Jose Sharks- Oh, you already F****** KNOW

St. Louis Blues-

Seattle Kraken- Riley Sheahan. I signed him. He sucked.

Tampa Bay- Brayden Point. I think just because RBK owns him.

Toronto Maple Leafs- Everyone, they are all Doo Doo Heads!

Vancouver Canucks- Jaroslav Halak. Mostly I hate the way that I don’t hate you. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.

Vegas Golden Knights- Jonathan Marcheassault. My Kevan Labanc article alludes to why.

Washington Capitals- The biggest idiot in hockey, Tom Wilson.

Winnipeg Jets- Connor Hellebyuck. Mainly because I always have to look up the stupid spelling of his name.